March 1, 2022
The Gift of Imperfection
“I reach for excellence, not perfection.” And it is OK to get things wrong or fall on our faces. We learn a great lesson from our failures. Here is the genuine introspection of my thoughts & feelings of myself.
I was a kindergarten dropout! At four years old, I started Catholic School. I’m not sure how long I attended but…….I do recall three separate incidences imprinted in my memory from back then. Once, when just sitting in class (nothing being taught), a 3rd grader was supervising and caught me talking when we were supposed to quietly coloring. The punishment was to sit in the wastepaper basket in front of the 3rd-grade class! Somehow, I was able to talk my way out of that one!
Then as a tiny little four-year-old, I had trouble getting into & out of the school lavatory. One day I decided to “HOLD IT” which of course didn’t work out as I planned & I peed my pants & had to walk home like that!
The 3rd memory has the nuns at my front door coming to get me back to school. My mother said, “I am sorry, but I can’t make her go.” The following year I started public school at age 5.
Now in middle school/ aka Jr High School (what we called it back then), I found out I was not as “smart” as my older sisters or as athletic. Mom gave me “an out” and told me that was OK & to “do the best I could.” I was given Carte blanche – complete freedom to act as one wishes or thinks best. I certainly wasn’t a bad student. Still, in middle school, I had a 100 average in Home Economics & only received a 99 grade on my report card. When I asked the teacher about it she asked me if I thought I was “perfect.” Of course, I answered, “no, I am not perfect,” and she said, “well, there is your answer.” After that, I felt “pigeonholed” as a C student, for no reason even when I did excel.
Growing up in the 60s was so different for girls back then unless you were in the top percentile. Having a horrible male guidance teacher didn’t help my situation either. Because I was only an average student, my life choices were limited to Women based careers were secretary, teacher, nurse, or homemaker. NONE of which was on my radar at the time. I did try Candy Striper for a day or two (I thought the uniforms were cute). But didn’t like being in the hospital with sick people. Remember again; I had Carte Blanche!
I was in my junior year of High School when I started looking into colleges, and I realized I did not have any prerequisites to get into any two-year business school. So as a Senior, I was taking 9th-grade algebra, at my request! Come graduation; I was informed I didn’t have a health or biology credit that was needed for my HS diploma! Somehow that one escaped me….It wasn’t a prerequisite for a business school, but of course, an HS diploma was!
Let me tell you; I may be the only one in NYS that graduated without taking either course. This is how I got by…..and I’m not kidding you….!!!! I was asked if I knew where babies came from! Thank goodness I did learn about it in HOME ECONOMICS! Welcome to the ’60s!!
A few years ago my great-niece said she was taking a course about “careers”……and asked, “How am I supposed to know, now, I’m in Middle School.”That’s a GOOD question!!! Some people never know!
So, my choices were Alfred State to study Retail Business Management or the Fashion Institute of NY or Atlanta. I thought that would be a good fit for me…….. I love fashion and shopping. The glamour and thought of going to NYC for buying trips were right up my alley. I settled for Alfred for a few reasons, less expensive, close to home, other HS friends going there. After graduation, I worked for a high-end store. I only ended up working about a year in retail. It wasn’t nearly as glamorous as I thought & even back then, I could see the changes in the retail industry, and working nights and weekends weren’t in the work/life balance that I needed.
Still struggling with what I wanted to do with my life, I borrowed $600 for my eldest sister & took a 3-month hands-on Dental Assistant course. I finally found a purpose & something I was passionate about… TEETH!!! & I was an excellent student!!! Life was good! I worked for a fantastic dentist, had good benefits, married my college boyfriend, bought a house, etc. I reached the glass ceiling of my dental assistant career and when this wonderful boss of mine retired, he encouraged me to go back to school for Dental Hygiene!
Now, remember, when I said I never had health or biology in HS, well add in chemistry……all prerequisites needed for dental hygiene and nursing! Twenty years later, I found myself taking all these prerequisites receiving straight A’s, and finding out after all this time my aptitude was in science!! I graduated top in my dental Hygiene class, and my passion for learning continued to grow. At least now I was now getting acknowledgment of my hard work!
One thing that continued to bother me was that I had 2-two degrees and several marketing classes on & off: in the meantime, business management & dental hygiene degrees added up to 2 two-year degrees! Once again, I followed my passion and enrolled in a new Health Care Administration degree program in the Heath Science Dept of SUNY Brockport. Combining all my credits to receive a bachelor’s degree.
One time, I went to my professor complaining about receiving an A-minus. He looked at me & said, “It is still an A.” Ya, but I no longer would have a 4.0! I am not PERFECT. Once again, I learned the lesson of striving for excellence & not perfection……….I have been a LATE BLOOMER all my life……. but that’s OK! I have been at the right place that I needed to be at the right time.
I am still & will always be a Life-Longer. As I pivot again with my life’s purpose, passions, and as a client of my work, I embrace my gifts of Imperfections and the lessons it has taught me in my lifetime! I encourage you to journal and write down your story. Some of us GO through Stuff, and some of us GROW through STUFF.
Join me next week…. I talk about the FEAR of Growing Older. My Birthday Gift to YOU!
Until then……. TRUST YOUR TRUTH!